shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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