He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize