Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
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By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
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THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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