I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
