I met the friendliest cop last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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