We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
