I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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