If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
