please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize