We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"