Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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