she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
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