What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
