she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
