Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
