3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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