If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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