i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
