Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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