u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
