i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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