If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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