I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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