We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
