how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Help. Why am I so naked?
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