I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
