So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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