um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
