smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
