After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
