Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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