y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
