ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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