There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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