Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
