ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize