Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
this will be a night to untag.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
