God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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