I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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