Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just gift wrapped bread.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
