dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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