My cat gives me a boner
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
