she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
