sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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