if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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