I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
BRING THE BAGELS
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
