"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
