How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
