K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
