At least make sure they are 18
Why
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
