well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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