Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
