just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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