Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
