My room smells like vodka and shame
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
whose parrot is this?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
