You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
