so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
