i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
