It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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