I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
